Have you ever been in one of those situations where just about everything about you doesn't feel right? That happened to me today. My Beach Cottage felt wrong, my thrifted furniture felt wrong, my shabby decor felt just oh so wrong. The fact that I was in my sweats and a hat to cover my in-need-of-colour hair was wrong, my bare of make-up face and my un-manicured nails.
Remember I told you how desperate the Cottage was in need of clean? Boy I wish I'd knuckled down and done it. It just all felt so W R O N G.
I got myself in a situation with someone where the other person was certainly not wrong…the hair is done, the make-up is done, the sweats most certainly are not done, the car, house and life are all just done to perfection, not a crumb or dust, flaw or blemish.
Now one of the reasons I love my cottage is the un-doneness of it all – I like to think I left all that horrid perfect stuff back in England. But a lot of time I have little choice but to move in a world of glorious doneness. And sometimes this bites me on the butt.
So what do you think I did as I reeled? No, I didn't hit the Thrift Circuit, I put on a Gilmore Girls dvd and I cleaned and cleaned the Family Rooom. And gave myself a good talking to telling myself all the wonderful things about my new life in my cottage by the sea and how oh-so-much worse off I could be. And felt 1 per cent better.
I sometimes ponder just where I fit in in life? You know??? I'm just wondering if anyone else gets these feelings? Or is it just me and my outta control emotions?
Nope. Not just you. Its easy to get feeling like that. Usually by the next day I am shaking my head and laughing at my silliness. Keep your head up. You will be back to cheery you soon!
PS. Schedule your hair to be colored soon. It will be a relaxing break and sometimes its all it takes to renew your self confidence.
~Stacy
It can be tough, being a woman with so many sides. Sometimes our undone sides just need a little stitching…for a little while. Then we can go back to raw edges with things spilling out. You’re not alone.
Oh sweetie. I think you and I are twins a million miles apart. I had the exact same day. My hair needs a dye job so badly I could scream, I was wearing my icky clothes, no make-up, etc. Only I cried and cried and cried all the day long. Then the dogs decided to get muddy and storm through the house leaving a horrid trail of muddy paw-prints on the carpeting, the floors, etc. Guess what I did? Cried again. Well, my dear kindred spirit, I hope that you take a moment to have a cup of tea (or maybe a bit of wine) and relax in a wonderful tub then go and snuggle under a dreamy quilt and lose yourself in a delicious magazine. I hope we both have better tomorrows.
Hugs, Suzann
Oh you are so not alone. You can remind yourself of all the wonderful positives in your life and still feel down. I am sure we all feel like this from time to time. I have had a miserable last 2 weeks… really down in the dumps. I felt guilty making my feelings so public on my blog but I’m a heart on my sleeve kinda gal like you.. I can tell! Sometimes you’ve got to share. I feel so undone at the moment too. I have no set address, I’m living amongst boxes and I have a frame of a house being ruined by the rain. I am having a garage sale this weekend to clear out my old life in anticipation of the new… maybe that will make me feel 1% better. Chin up…. your blog friends are here to cheer! A-M xx
We can so often feel like a ship without a rudder, just battered about on the sea. I’ve been in a valley for so long, I don’t know if I will ever come out. For almost seven years now, I’ve been living in a town I truly loathe, and I have always been a happy, adaptable person. I’m just not seeing the end yet, and I am afraid that the person I used to be is just slipping away. I do understand exactly how you feel. The part about wondering where one fits in. I am just going to have to muster up more hope that this too shall pass!
Um – you’re such a wonderful blogger and I love your beach cottage and thank God I found your blog.
Oh Sarah i can relate to having one of those days where everything feels and looks plain ugly!! Tomorrow may be a better day but one thing i have found is to lower my standards (re the cleaning and other perfection wanting things) and try to be positive although when you have one of those days it is truly hard! I dont know if you go to work but even though i whinge about it it really is one of the things that keeps me half sane as if i am home all day i really can focus inwards way too much if that makes any sense. Find a few good friends who love you for being you (and that includes us i reckon) warts or needed to be coloured hair and all ! To me your house and everything you do is so serene and beautiful so i hope you yourself start to feel a little better soon. Hugs,Mel xxx
p.s i wanted to let you know you are a real inspiration to me and to be honest i want my home to look just like yours!
In every perfect person I have observed they are not happy with themselves. The people who have to have every hair in place and makeup on and the perfect outfit and keep the perfectly clean and decorated house are usually insecure and looking for approval through those things.
I like you. I like a person that is real. A home that isn’t perfect. One that I know that I can come to and sit with my feet curled up under me and eat while sitting on their sofa and just have some real girl time conversations with.
I like a person that I don’t feel like I have to compete with. When we each have gifts and qualities that compliment each other. Sounds as if this person made you feel not as good. She made you question your home, your wardrobe, your life. She probably would not want you to feel that way but in her insecurity cannot reveal any hint that she is not perfect. Be yourself. Happy with who that is. If you ever have this person over you will teach her what true joy in your home is, how to enjoy life an family and your home, and most of all yourself.
Gosh, yes I feel that way. At the moment to be exact. I think I forgot to get the note that Thanksgiving is tomorrow in the U.S. I haven’t even been to the grocery store yet and I see beautiful blogs featuring centerpieces, crafty homemade table clothes… What train did I miss? Plus my little home needs the Beach Cottage cleaning you just did too! I just a big cup of tea read your post and now gave myself a talking too…. Thanks for letting me know we are not alone! I feel better already. As I clean and run to the store and tell my 4 little children that I need them to try and keep their toys clean I will be thinking of you. Saying “Sarah did it so can I”…. Have a lovely day and know your blog is at the top of my list cause I think “you have the perfect organized beautiful cottage I have ever seen”.
Sorry who am I – taxi driver, chef, cleaner, etc etc all done with no flipping thanks and yes you are better out there it is GREY here today (as it is for at least half of the year) – read some of your old posts and comments you will soon realise you are right – you are white (as in paint)and you are a good person who is not, as most mums/wives are not fully appreciated! If you went OUT to work and did all this and got paid you would feel differently – being the unpaid version makes it seem worthless. On a good day housework feels like drudgery on a bad day RELENTLESS DRUDGERY!!!!
Sit down and have a glass of WHITE wine and chill! Survey how lovely it all looks now rather than how it did before – you have done an ace job – check your stats it will prove it!
Love Emma xxxxx
I completely understand what you mean. I think we gals go through that a lot. I know I have days like that- where nothing works for me. Where I don’t even work for me!
You have a lot of love coming your way. What wonderful support and comments were left.
Take care and hang in there.
OMG Sarah funnily enough I do know where you are coming from. I have always suffered with depression & for the past 2 months or so have been the worst I have felt in a long long time! Yep my hair also badly needs a colour (I was a bloody hairdresser for gods sake, so you would think I would always be on top of that!) my nails no longer need a manicure as I have bitten them all off, something I have not done for years & as for housework, well what the hell is that! I find it hard enough just to get out of bed most days. I am rather slowly coming to realise that everything I do in my life has to be PERFECT if not then I just am not good enough. I feel I am slowly crawling my way back up to sanity, who knows tomorrow I may clean a room, was kinda planning on the hallway.
Enjoy your night Sweet
Lyn xoxo
Even though you thought this other person’s life looked perfect…it’s not. Remember we are all different and that’s a GOOD THING, because how boring would it be otherwise? We also have different taste…I have a friend that lives in a fabulous house that looks like it was decorated by a designer, and that’s awesome for her, but it is still not my style (or pocket book). I sometimes have people over who marvel how clean my house is, but they haven’t looked in any of the closets. My good friends know that I am an unorganized mess, and if I really cared I would do something about it, but you know, I just find better things to do, like head out to the garden or picking up a good book!
Just remember we all have days that we are “Caught”- with a messy house, hair looking bad, no make up, etc…and our good friends will accept that about us. So, give yourself a break and realize you are a talented woman living in your little cottage by the sea…lots of us wish we were!
Oh honey, you are not alone, there are times when I just want to hide from the world cause I don’t fit into it either! I do have to say though, that your beach cottage is amazing, and you well I love your kindnes and your candidness. It is nice to know that someone else does not live in perfection. All the desparate housewives on my street would like to think their lives are perfect with thier fancey cars, maids, and expensive jeans, I just have to remember who I am and what is important, and it isn’t that my house is perfect or my car is bigger then my neighbors! Hang in there and take some time to get your hair done…it will make you feel maybe 2 per cent better!
Happy days…
~ Tara~
This is so funny!!!!!
I don’t think I fit in my neighborhood either.All the houses have expensive brown leather couches,they all have contractors,they all buy in a catalog or expensive furniture stores.I buy in Nice and easy,of course,Thrfift stores and flea markets,my husband does all the construction for me.
But to be honesr,I think my house is the warmest and funniest!!!!
when i read your last post i felt sad for you but also familiar. We all think that we are not as glam or as good as someone we know but do you what YOU make a difference! I deleight in looking at your blog and your creativity inspires and amazes me. You see beauty in unrecognisable objects but you turn them with your talent into stunning items that many would love to own. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We love you
from a girl up north
Well, you did the right thing…Gilmore Girls always puts me in a good mood!
I’m sure it’s probably just a “mood” and it will pass. I go through that too…one minute I love all my stuff and then at other times I wonder if I went the wrong direction in some of my decor choices!
OK my dear…. now you sound EXACTLY like me! That is how I am 99% of the time; the other 1% of the time I am blogging! hugs!!! xo
Oh, no my friend, you are most definitely NOT alone. As a matter of fact, that’s how I have been feeling as of late. I, too, love Gilmore Girls and was devastated when I found they were off the air….I could use a good laugh right about now. You little cottage is full of inspiration and SO very lovely, stunning, beautiful…I could go on and on….if only my shabby home looked remotely as adorable as yours.
Anyway, blessings and hugs to you.
Aww {{hugs}}. I have those days ALL the time. I admire your sense of style and think your home is beautiful.
When I get in those moods, I call it the “funk.” Hope you loose your “funk” soon!
Stop it! My hair needs coloring too! I didn’t wash it for 4 days because you know…you’re supposed to color it when dirty. I painted my kitchen instead of my hair…and had to wash it today because…I went out in public…still no make-up though! I still want to come live in your house!
Everyone has those days, we can always blame it on the Jupiter Pluto shift, apparently we have some big astrological events going on.
This week Americans are celebrating thanksgiving which is based on the simplest idea of taking a moment to take stock of all that is good in your world.
A daily gratitude journal helps me through the bad days and one of that I can list would be finding your blog full of all kinds of fun things going on.
Just don’t let the Vinnie’s man know, he’d put the prices up for sure!
a HA! I Love you in all of your non perfect un doneness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I’m just going to say I have seen the side of perfect that is truly sad really dolly SAD! all of this perfect this perfect that…can more times then not be hiding an ugly sadness that goes very deep….You my dear have been my twin for a few years now, you Still are:) I know that I could come over very UN DONE and you would not look twice! You are COMFORTABLE and those are the people I want around me! xoxoxoMWAW!
Nice to know someone else feels this way too, at times. I get so busy sometimes that I just don’t want to stop for all the “maintenance” stuff like nails, hair, cleaning etc…then I hit a point where I just have to get my life back in balance. What is that saying…this too shall pass.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Susan
sigh… i thought i was the only one who felt like that. glad to know i’m not alone =) debbie
OMG–you are me! I’ve been feeling like this on and off over the past year–some days are not so bad, but then you see the “perfectness” of someone elses house, life, clothes, etc. and then you look at yours (which you thought was oh-so-cute) and you think…hmmm…am I a total dork? It seems that everyone is so “with it” ya know? So fashionable, so cool. I described it to a friend like this: I feel like the “cool” train came to town, everyone boarded, but when it came time for me to board, the conductor just looked at me and shook his head. The “cool” train came and went.
So, yes, I TOTALLY know what you are talking about. (And I desperately need highlights–my roots are about 2-3 inches!)
Oh and by the way, I LOVE your little beach cottage–I think it is TOTALLY cute. I always check to see what you are up to.
oh doll that house! I had my camera in hand and as we walked in the owner was saying look out! We have a 911 going on! A water pipe had froze and burst on the top floor …it was raining inside! all the way to the basement..had to put the camera in my bag for protection! 100 year old house with all the original woodwork and floors open staircase all the cute stuff….but ey not sure what will happen now…they are looking at major major repairs….
I think we all have days when we feel like that. Sometimes everything just feels out of control and you dont know where to start, but we cant be perfect all the time (just nearly all of the time lol!) Hope you are feeling alot more positive soon. Your home always looks beautiful to me. X
Oh, my dear — no, no, no; you are soooo not alone! In fact, I feel that I’m an all or nothing kind of gal — either everything is wonderful and peachy, or it’s all just…wrong! I was having a wrong day this past weekend…I didn’t even get out of bed ’til 11:00 a.m. ’cause I thought…”what’s the use? it will all just be a mess today, too.” (but then I remembered I had to take my patient dog for a tinkle.
I think we all have these ebbs and flows…it’s life. But you have to admit: Isn’t it great that you can air it all her in blogland? I reckon I’m saving serious coin in therapy.
Hope you’re feeling better. You (and your lovely cottage!) bring sunshine to all of us who post here, so just remember that when you’re feeling blue.
hugs from the shorehouse -
Laura
Did I write this post?!?!?
I think we all go through the depression of perceived perfection. You were just brave enough to put it out there for all of us to relate to.
You are wonderful, creative, caring, talented, and sweet!!!! And if you weren’t being who you were meant to be, you couldn’t have the ability to touch as many lives, for good, as you have.
So sweetie, shake those blues hard enough to start to giggle. And don’t be afraid of your own greatness!!! No one can do it better than you, my friend. BE HAPPY!
Yeah, at your age I had these thoughts. I’m telling you at almost 52 they do go away. You grow more confident, less worried about such things. I have a neighbor whose garden home is almost identical to mine. She lives alone and it is like a page from a magazine. But it doesn’t look comfortable and “lived in.” I wouldn’t want that perfect.
Brenda
Hi Sarah
I hope you are having a better day. I don’t think there are too many who don’t have days like that. I know I certainly get them too. Nothing seems quite right and I don’t know what I want and who I am and where I’d like to be. I feel sometimes like I’m so busy doing things that I don’t have time to get things the way I would like them…and no matter how I dress up or tidy up I can’t compare to someone else out there so coiffed..and it really bugs me too. I feel like sulking too…
but…generally I know that there is a good likelihood that tomorrow I’ll feel better.
Sometimes I will reflect on those people who really have cause to feel like I’m feeling at the moment… people who are in really bad situations and I tell myself I need to be grateful for all that I have…my friends..my family…my Love Bunny…the wonderful world…my health…my interests…all those things that ARE important…
Usually I begin to snap out of that mood and I do appreciate once again. I often find that like you if I buckle down and clean and rearrange and really get “into” it that at the end I feel a self satisfaction and things do feel better…maybe at that time it would be good have a manicure or have a little pampering.
We should feel blessed…
and I do hope you feel better today…and enjoy being away for the weekend..
*hugs*
Judi
Sarah, I’m so sorry you went through that, and of course, I think we all do at times. The trick is not to let it take you down into a complete funk.
Your beach cottage is ADORABLE, and you are enjoying your life in it. We enjoy it, too! Your joy is evident from your posts to us. Don’t let Miss Prissy Pants get you down. She probably has a world of things you don’t see affecting her life. Yours looks pretty fun to me! To heck with fixy hair and perfect nails. She doesn’t have a fan club like you do!
XO,
Sheila
Sarah, there is perfection in “imperfection”. I feel the way you do with my best friend -her home is spotless, perfectly designed, orderly, her clothes are beautiful,expensive, from the best stores. She snubs her nose at me for going to the 99 cent store and Target and Marshalls and TJ Maxx….I always think when she walks into my home she is looking down at me…..but here is the sad part, she is very much in credit card debt, has no man in her life, which I think would make her happier than her perfect wardrobe and perfect material things….I think as we get older we let go of what other people think more…..acknowledge your creative, beautiful self and know we all doubt ourselve some days.
Oh, Sarah…I sure feel like that sometimes. I did, especially when I was younger. As you age, you tend to want to tell them all to go to hell and you’ll get your nails done when you darn well please! tee hee….
I sometimes walk into a room that, yesterday, was just ALMOST perfection as far as I was concerned…and today? GOOD GRIEF…what WAS I thinking to put THAT chair over there by THAT table….it ALL looks wrong…Oh, me…think I’ll fix a cup of hot tea, settle down on my warm bed and watch a chick flick !!
love, bj
So glad you wrote this post because reading all the comments you received is somehow very, very soothing to me. Your blog is soothing too and thank you for sharing your life with all of us.
wow those could have been my words… and your cottage is gorgeous…you are not alone…hugs, lisa
i feel the exact same way a lot of times!! i think your house looks perfect to me. i think it is beautiful!!